Researchers say people can only maintain intimate relationships with no more than five people at one time. When I first read this, I wasn’t sure I believed it, but as I started to think about it, it just might be true.
When I think back to different times of my life and I try to visualize what my friendships looked like, I have always been a social person, but do not quickly let people into the personal parts of my life. I guess I wasn’t always as cautious as I am now, but once you feel the sting of betrayal from those you love the most, you are not so quick to let your guard down again.
Recently, I was hurt by a group of women I considered my friends. It’s one of those things where you walk up to a dog and the owner says, “You can pet him. He won’t bite.” So, you go ahead and pet their dog, and the dog bites your hand off. So, there you are with one hand missing. You are bleeding, hurting, and left wondering why you trusted that guy in the first place and why you trusted that dog. You didn’t know that guy, but you trusted him anyway, and now you’re missing a part of your body.
One of the ladies in the group wrote that I’m probably just extra sensitive because all of my friends at Planned Parenthood betrayed me. Of course I am. Yes, I am probably a little sensitive about the people I trust. I am probably a little worried that I will be betrayed again, but I didn’t know it was such a burden to ask your friends for honesty and loyalty. I didn’t realize betrayal was so trendy.
So, what’s the point in this post? I am not the type of person who is in the habit of feeling sorry for themselves or throwing pity parties. This little incident happened a couple of days ago and I thought I would surely find some sort of knowledge from God in the end, but I couldn’t have possibly imagined what it would be.
Then, in my prayer time, God really laid it on me. He has given me what I need, all that I need. We all want more and strive for more, but for me, in this part of my life, God has filled my cup. I am so completely blessed to have those five intimate relationships with people who were brought into my life, entirely by Christ.
I didn’t construct those relationships, He did, which is why they are so fruitful!! “My 5” are the people that I love the most in my life. They are the people I can share my life with; my excitement, my struggles, my faults, my happiness, and my sadness. They are on my team and I am solidly on theirs. That is what God does!
We struggle to make relationships and friendships work, but we really shouldn’t! The people that God has placed in our lives will ALWAYS be there, no matter what. They will not hurt us. God has brought them to us to help lift us up!!
When God laid this on me, I immediately felt so at peace. I felt so thankful for “my 5.” I couldn’t do this work without them, without their prayers, without their support, without their honesty, and their accountability.
When we work against evil, we need to have our team in place. I am so thankful God has constructed mine, and has now taught me this lesson.
I pray you have found your 5. When you do, it will be an unbreakable team!!
“The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with people with peace.” Psalm 29:11
Abby, thanks for your sharing. I can relate to your feelings. What helps me is to think that even the closest person is weak, just like me. And I cannot be surprised if occasionally that weakness pops up. However, I know that I can trust in God 100%. He will never fail me. So, if sometimes others are not meeting my expectations and maybe are letting me down, that’s Ok. I come to expect that, but I know that God will never fail!
I was given your book “unPlanned” to read this past week and I zoomed through it – it was captivating and I could not set it down. I can’t begin to tell you how your book has changed my way of thinking, my values, ideas, thoughts, and faith. I’ve always been pro-life, but now I know why, and I know how to speak about it appropriately. It’s also given me a chance to re-visit my Catholic faith, which I had been questioning for some time now, and it made me realize I do agree with more than I thought I did. I’m happy I discovered this now, in my 20’s, than later on in life, potentially losing all those years not fighting for a cause I believe so deeply in. You’re an inspiration to all.
Leticia Adams says
Funny how I came to the same conclusion too!!! 🙂 Roots, you gotta have only a few roots. LOL
Sean Collins says
Hi Abby, Thank you for being such an inspiration to so many. God has guided you this far, and He continues to guide you. You know this by the fact that you bring others to a closer relationship with Jesus. This is the ultimate sign of faith – not just that you can save your own soul, but also the souls of others. Take care always dearest Abby