There is something that has really been bothering me lately. I think women are amazing. Men are okay, too. But really, women are the most amazing things created by God.
We were given the gift of bearing children, growing another human life inside of our bodies. We have natural beauty that other things don’t possess, we are naturally compassionate, and we are beautifully vulnerable. I mean, we are pretty awesome.
So, how can it be that so many women don’t see that in themselves? Why is it that so many women abuse all of those gifts and cheapen themselves? Why pornography? I know that we all want to blame pornography on those perverted men, but is it really them or is it really us?
Okay, my very favorite dessert in the whole world is lemon cake. I mean, I LOVE IT!!! I really love all things lemon, but my very favorite is lemon cake. I love everything about it. If you put a piece in front of me, I am going to eat it. It really doesn’t matter what the consequence is, I am going to eat that lemon cake. All self-control is thrown out the window when it comes to lemon cake.
Now, I am not saying that people shouldn’t be able to control themselves and I am most certainly not letting men off the hook, but I am asking if it’s really ALL their fault? I think not.
I think that women have to bear some of the responsibility. I always find it interesting when these pro-women advocates (I do include myself in this group) condone pornography. That is really contradictory.
How can you say you believe in the equality of women on one hand, but then on the other believe that it is okay to make them visual sex slaves to men? That doesn’t seem equal. To me, there is nothing more degrading to a woman than pornography. You are presenting yourself as an object, something to stimulate, something to be used, not someone to be loved. Nothing of value, nothing of substance.
I am so saddened by all of the women who have bought into this lie. They believe that by handing themselves over to be used in whatever way a man wishes to use her, to defile her, they will be loved by them. This, ultimately, must leave them feeling so unfulfilled, so void. They have a check and they received some attention, but in the end, they are still empty, and at some point they will be discarded. They are simply remembered by the skin they showed in photos or on film.
How do we do better? How do we teach our children that our skin is just a covering to what is really important? Christ didn’t die for our flesh. Our flesh is not what matters. I will say that it does matter what we do with that flesh because it affects the soul in detrimental ways that brings about even physical repercussions, but somehow we have fallen off track.
How do we teach our girls that there is so much more to them than outward beauty? How do we teach our boys that a woman’s value is measured by so much more than a beautiful face or body? Our kids are so saturated with vanity and pop culture lies they don’t even know the truth anymore.
I want my daughter to know that unusual is beautiful, that “ugly” is just a perception, one that I hope she doesn’t develop. I think as parents we have to work every day to shape our children’s perceptions of beauty, wealth, unique, attractive, etc. I, for one, do not want Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber to shape what my daughter sees as “normal” or “model.”I want her to go against the societal trends and make her own “normal.”
There is so much wisdom in this. My mother told me many times that there is no universal standard for outward beauty, that it’s in the eye of the beholder, but that there IS a standard for inward beauty: the character of Christ.
I really appreciate your painfully honest look at our own responsibility in the pornography area. I think so many women go through life saying “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Yes, we are, to a certain extent. Thanks so much! 🙂