I receive a lot of hate mail from pro-life advocates. Yes, I said pro-lifers. I don’t support the “right” legislation. I don’t say exactly the right things. I don’t mention the right groups. I don’t give enough credit to certain people. I’m not “pro-life” enough. I’m too young to know what I’m talking about. I’m just doing all of this for the money. The list continues.
The messages can get quite ugly. Sometimes it is hard to believe they are from people who call themselves pro-life, much less Christian, but, unfortunately, they do. When I first started receiving these messages, I was shocked and sad. I had done the right thing, right? I had crossed over to the right side, right? So, why were some people treating me like I was still doing something wrong?
Did they want me to return to Planned Parenthood? Were they sorry that I had left and was now pro-life? Did they not want clinic workers to leave? I eventually got to the point where the messages didn’t bother me. I received so many that they all started to look the same. Every once in a while, I would get one that was shocking, but it didn’t happen that often.
However, there is one that has stuck with me. I think about it often. It didn’t actually come in the form of a message. It was a post about me on a discussion board. A friend of mine had told me some people were discussing my story and I should go check it out and comment. Their discussion had quickly turned from my story and had moved on to something entirely different.
One woman started talking about how frightened she would be if she ever saw me around her children. The others started chiming in. They were all going on about how terrifying it would be to see me holding a baby; that the baby’s life would certainly be in danger because of my past.
I should definitely never be allowed to be alone with a child; you never know what I would do if I’m not supervised. I simply can’t be trusted. I once killed children. I could do it again and it could be your child. It just kept going and going, and I kept reading and reading. Of course, I was devastated. I wasn’t even able to post a response. It was too hard to gather my thoughts.
Is that what people thought of me? Did they think I am threat to their children? I would never hurt a child, but I did hurt children, I was party to their murder for eight years. Do people think it’s the same? Do people think I am a violent person? I didn’t think I was hurting anyone. Only now am I able to see the hurt I caused. How does someone like me, a former clinic worker, explain this type of discrepancy?
I don’t know if you can, if I can. I’m not sure it needs to be explained. I think we simply need to ask ourselves a question, do we want clinic workers to leave the abortion industry or not? If we do, then we will just have to understand that there are questions that will be unresolved. There are things that some people will never be able to wrap their head around.
We may say things that people don’t understand. We may be insensitive at times. We don’t mean to be. Our hearts are different. You see a picture of an aborted baby and you cry. We see that same picture and we remember how that picture was at one time very real to us.
We remember carefully sifting through pieces of tissue until all body parts were accounted for. We remember the smell. We remember the sounds. We were there. It’s not just a picture for us. We can’t cry. The tears just won’t come. There is a part of our heart that is hard, the job required it. Our hearts still have to be. We protect ourselves by holding on to that small part of our hardened heart.
I didn’t know I would need to protect myself from the pro-life movement. I didn’t know that little hardened part of my heart would come in handy when dealing with my “own kind.” Friendly fire? It sure doesn’t seem friendly.
So, what do these people want? Do they want people to leave the abortion industry? It doesn’t seem like it. Do they want people to turn away from the sin of abortion? It doesn’t seem that way. What do they want from those of us that have left? You know what we want? Peace.
It’s not easy to leave your job, income, friends, stability, insurance, and everything else that is familiar to us. But, we do it. Why? Because, it is the right thing to do. It’s not easy, but we do it regardless. We know it is a risk. We know we could lose everything and or end up in court.
Everything is uncertain, but we know it is worth the risk. Even with the risk, we feel joy. We have done the right thing and it feels amazing. We feel a sense of peace that we have never felt before. We don’t leave our jobs to please the public. We don’t leave because the public thinks it is wrong. We leave because one day, something snaps and we see the truth. We leave for us.
And, even though we do our best and we fight the enemy, sometimes publicly, our lives change in the blink of an eye, but for some it is just not good enough. Though, all we want is peace. We don’t have to please everyone. We don’t want to, it wouldn’t be possible. But, what do we receive? Every word scrutinized. Every move analyzed. Every story put under the microscope.
I am pro-life. I am imperfect. I mess up a lot. I love kids. I used to work in an abortion clinic. I have aborted two of my children. My daughter is the most important thing in my life. I have and love tattoos. I try my best to go to church every Sunday. I love to shop. I hate chick-flicks.
I can’t explain every part of who I am. I can’t explain all of the mistakes I have made. I can tell you that I will continue to mess up, sometimes I might do it in front of a lot of people. I can’t always give you the answer you want, the answer you are looking for.
However, even with the unexpected stress, I am still glad I crossed that line. I would never take it back. Sometimes, I think these people who message me want me back in the abortion clinic. It was easier to hate me when I was inside those walls.
As pro-life advocates, is that what we want? We want to hate people who make the right decision? We want to continue to demonize them? I had hoped we were better than that. I had hoped we respected each other more than that. I had hoped we had more faith in each other.
Are we pro-life or are we just pro-birth? Do we only care about the babies or do we care about everyone involved? If we say we are truly pro-life, then we must desire and yearn for conversion in every clinic worker and abortionist. Their lives are just as important as the children who are aborted. Are we committed to the sanctity of all human life or just some?
As hard as it May be, don’t give their discussion a second thought. What a great way for the enemy to get to you. You are NOT that person, cleansed and freed. Just by reading your blog it is obvious that you exude forgiveness. Unfortunately, not everyone does.You are an amazing woman who has come out of something awful and has become a beacon of light for those still in darkness. remember that when stupidity gets the best of people. That is how God sees you.
I am praying for you and your ministry.
Becky Emerick says
Oh Abby, the internet is a big place, and unfortunately, it gives air to everyone’s thoughts and ideas. Take every issue, every single one, and you will find message boards of people being mean.
I was rattled a few years ago by comments from a news-worth event that happened to a friend. How could people be so mean? But then, I started looking at past articles, and those people were everywhere. I really think there are people who spend all their time online writing bad things about others!
Don’t let their comments, or other internet dialog, shape who you are or what you say… or even how you view others.
You don’t need to protect yourself from people or the pro-life movement. You need to trust God to protect you and stake your faith in who you are in HIM. A sinner, yes, like the rest of us, but covered by the grace and work of our precious Lord Jesus.
Thanks for taking your stand!
It seems to me a HUGE jump to conclude that someone who was a former abortion/clinic worker would be a danger to other’s children. I for one would not be worried to see you around my children, if that means anything 🙂
I love that last paragraph! I’ve worked in a few pregnancy centers and always felt the phrase “saving one life at a time” was missing the heart. How many lives are touched by each abortion?! The baby for sure, is the most important. But then there is the mom, the dad (even if he doesn’t know), the grandparents, future siblings… every action we take effects so much. But I hadn’t considered the workers involved in the murder when thinking of the lives lost. Thanks for adding that level.
“Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” (or what they are saying…).
We think you’re amazing and an inspiration, Abby. And I’ll be telling my children your story when they’re old enough.
Keep up the good work.
Lillie Ammann says
I am so sad to hear that people who claim to be pro-life Christians would write and say such things.
Praise God that you have seen the light! Praise God that you have put your past behind you and are working to save lives! Praise God that Jesus found the lost sheep you were and carried you on His shoulders back into the fold of truth.
Your voice is more powerful because of your past. You can reach many women that someone like me could never reach because I do not have the same understanding of their experiences and their emotions. God is using your past to save many lives. He has forgiven you, and if our perfect Savior has forgiven you, how can sinful humans condemn you?
Abby, I had to comment on this.
I have been following your work since early this year when I first heard about you. I just want you to know that your understanding of your decision is spot-on: to leave and begin to oppose Planned Parenthood, to campaign the pro-life movement, and especially to be so transparent and vocal of your conversion, story and new-found pro-life values and beliefs … the pro-life movement and all its members should rejoice and be ecstatic to have you!
If I think about abortion, the debates surrounding it, and all the progress we have to make as a nation to end it, I think of you–all the hope we have, starting with everything you have done alongside Live Action. You are the face of the pro-life movement to me!
Despite previous generations of like-minded pro-life people wanting to stop abortion being dispersed and seemingly without direction, your arrival on the scene, Abby Johnson, is like a resurrection of everything it means to be pro-life, a driving force into the future, ensuring the efficacy of all our efforts.
Personally, I think you’re great–but you probably gathered that by now. But there are many, many people like me, so very, very grateful for and supportive of you!
Don’t be discouraged by the haters! People are rude and say things without thinking, especially on the Internet.
God bless you for your courage to do the right thing in the face of such tremendous adversity! Your strength and heart encourages people like me who face similar adversity in a much less public arena. As I read your words this verse came to mind: (“The human heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9) We will always face ugly hearts in this life…including our own…but there is hope in knowing that Christ will set us free from the evil of this world. (“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33) Our peace comes ONLY from the LORD. Not from people. God is using you mightily Abby! Continue to draw strength from Him and His word!
Love and prayers. (and heartfelt hugs)
Kris Detrow says
Great post, Abby. You are your own person with your own story. You are not, nor will you ever be, someone’s puppet. You are an individual and will never fit in the box that some will continually try to shove you in. That is exactly why God has been and will continue to use you and your story. Love you, girl! Oh, and anytime you want to pick the twins up and babysit, they are all yours! 🙂
Dianna @ Sincerely Me says
As many of the comments above have said you must not think about those people and their posts. Some people, especially christians (which is such a shame), have such a hard time with forgiveness and that is all it boils down too. I think you are doing an amazing job and not one of us is perfect. I am praying for you and your ministry. I know God has greatly blessed you and will continue to do so.
I love and appreciate your work Abby, and am very glad you changed sides. I trust you with my kids, so if you ever feel like babysitting 😉 …
Why did Jesus save the prostitute from being stoned? Eat with taxcollectors? Save the their on the cross next to Him? Why did Saul the persecutor become Paul the Evangelist?
Because Jesus came to call sinners, of which we ALL are the foremost, so that we may glorify His name.
Ignore the Pharisees, Abby. Nothing Jesus did was good enough for them, and nothing you do will ever be good enough for them. Just press on in the mission that Christ gave you and continue to glorify His name with your life-saving work. May our Lord continue to bless you abundantly!!!
Pro-lifers need to learn that nothing good comes from demonizing abortion workers. Sure, there’s the rogue nutcase who probably does enjoy carving up unborn children for fun and profit, but by far the vast majority don’t realize what they’re doing. In their view, abortions are no different than removing a tumor or performing a tooth extraction. They think they’re “helping” women by performing a “medical procedure,” and most have no desire to perform said “procedure” on women outside of the context of their job.
It’s patently ridiculous to draw a caricature of abortion workers as evil minions with blood-stained scalpels who lurk on the street ready to attack pregnant women and infants for the pure joy of killing children. This kind of mindset does a disservice to the entire pro-life movement and only serves as fodder for pro-abortion advocates who love to paint pro-lifers as crazy “anti-choice” zealots who shouldn’t be taken seriously.
This makes me so sad. I was just telling my 9 year old son about your story the other day, and you’re a hero to us!
Those people who judge you and can’t forgive you do that because they are terribly insecure and can’t forgive themselves. They take out their own insecurities on anyone within reach.
Stay strong and keep doing what you’re doing! The pro-life movement needs you! YOU are pro-life, not those who claim to be but aren’t.
I really appreciate this. I, too, was disillusioned in the midst of starting a pro-life womem’s clinic. I could not believe all the in-fighting that took place and, seriously, all the crazies. There are just some crazy people that will never be satisfied, no matter what you do or say. They want to fight – with anyone. Plain and simple, they thrive on conflict.
Keep up the good work!
Elizabeth Flanigan says
Acts 5:29…”Peter and the other apostles replied: ‘We must obey God rather than man!'”
You were not born to this world to please us nor woman nor man…You were born to call upon the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour and deny yourself and follow Him. Therefore, by His saving grace upon you you can no longer bow to man but to God. However, Praise the Lord for His work in and through you to make a difference and a light for others.
Yes I have read your book, Yes I was able to hear you speak at a dinner hosted by Alternaterm, and Yes I had one abortion and that is hard to admit, say and see what my own decision has done. Yes I even mailed your book to a girl friend of mine who herself had two abortions.
You are doing the right thing by fighting for the right things. And yes being a voice for those are not able to speak up or even those of us who are still ashamed.
Remember as we all need to remember as even Jesus dying on the cross “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34. As such, with us we need to forgive those who do not know what they are doing even ones that call themselves “Christians” or “Pro-lifers” because they clear do not know what they are doing.
Moreover, as Paul says in Romans 8:37-39 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separte us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Philippians 3:13 …Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.
This might be a bold comment to make but I do believe it to be correct…I believe Abby you are our 21st century Paul and the Lord Jesus Christ is using you in such a mighty way.
Abby you did the right thing, and you are an invaluable voice for all those who have been affected by abortion! Unfortunately, no matter who you are or what you stand for, if you are in the public eye there will be people hating. There are gossips, people with no sense, and haters behind every cause, the worthy and the unworthy. Sometimes some “Christians” can be the worst, and I have seen firsthand people who seem to be part of the pro-life cause just to condemn those who are not and have made mistakes. The Bible calls Satan “the accuser” and I believe he is ultimately the one behind the senseless hate mail you get. Thankfully, “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1) Keep up the good work and don’t let people who don’t know what they’re talking about or who have no grace or forgiveness get you down! Those who matter are glad to have you here! 🙂
Christians who withold forgiveness from others are, frankly, in danger of their immortal souls. Christ teaches us in the parable of the wicked servant (Matthew 18:23-25) that God forgives us our debts AS WE FORGIVE our debtors.
Abby Johnson is the “rock star” of the pro-life movement, and the devil is just using cruel people’s comments to discourage her. All of us need to work at not letting the hurtful comments of others become stumbling blocks to our mission in life.
Abby,I am sorry for these people. They probably don’t know what they’re talking about! I guess the hate and persecution has to come if someone is really doing God’s will. It’s like a “seal of approval” because you want to do His will defending Life. You are on the right track.
As far as entrusting the children you would have to have a house as big as a football field to babysit the kids of all of us on this blog:)
Brian F Hudon says
Abby, you are a sweet, passionate, quirky, funny, interesting and wonderful person. I honestly believe that causes sometimes attract people because they need to view the world in cataclysmic battles between good and evil where one side wins and the other side loses. Other people just get out of bed in the morning and do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. I know the kind of people that send you hate mail. I’ve probably gotten mail from some of the same people. They are the kind of people that, well..you know!
They do the same thing to non-christian pro-life groups as well.
Some people just have it in their head that in order to be on their side you must agree with them about every little detail and come from an almost identical background.
In the end it only hurts the cause to reject people because you may not agree with every aspect of who they are and what they’ve done.
Cindy B says
I love you Abby and pray for you. Don’t lose heart over those whose hearts are harder than yours.
Abby,I heard you speak recently in Bluffton, SC and I think you are a wonderful person with a lot of courage!
I’m a teacher and I gave one of the pro life pamphlets distributed at that meeting to a student of mine who was pregnant but who once considered aborting her child–it showed her the baby’s stages of life.
Please know that what you are doing is so so important. Everyone has things in their past they are not proud of and that they’ve done wrong–I’m sure those people who said that have mistakes they have made. In fact, this reminds me of the bible verse that says do not judge others without first looking at your own faults.
Unfortunately, as said above the internet is full of all kinds of people including cruel ones.
Please don’t stop what you are doing. Your story that I heard that day when you came to speak was nothing short of phenomenal–those words have stuck with me.
You are doing something amazing and you are amazing!
God Bless You!!!!
I have never even heard of you before I saw a post of this message on facebook. I am very proud of you and anyone else who decides to leave the industry. I however dont see what you did as any better or worse than my drugging stealing, drinking, and the like.l God forgives all. Im happy to see you can deal with this. Do me a favor and go to youtube and look up Forgiven me by MaryMary. I think this will help you! Gods love and peace and blessings to you….
Abby,You are a courageous, wonderful person!
I heard you speak one time and it was nothing short of phenomenal. It was life changing and I will never ever forget the words you said.
I’m a teacher and I gave my students one of the pro life pamphlets about the stages of a baby’s development in the womb distributed when you spoke. I gave it to her because she was pregnant but had once considered having an abortion.
Your work is life changing–you are taking a mistake you made in the past (remember everyone has made mistakes and has things in their past they are not proud of–including those people who were so cruel to you) and turning it into something that is saving lives.
Don’t stop what you are doing and please don’t ever feel discouraged. You are an amazing, wonderful person and I can assure you that you are making a difference!
God Bless you!!!
I am sorry that you have received such hateful posts and have been sent such horrible messages. Like the previous posts have said, there are people out there who like to say bad things about people, on every and any post sometimes. Just remember, those who claim to be “Christians” and say those terrible things, are not truly Christians. Christians should follow Christs example, and they clearly are not. They are like wolves trying to wear sheep wool to cover who they really are. God warns us about people who claim they are a follower of him when they are not and they will try to turn us away. So whatever you do, don’t listen to them and keep at it!
Jeanie McAndrew Holmes says
Abby,After reading your post I want you to know today that after 20 years since my first abortion it is only in the last year that i have been able to Pray for forgiveness for ALL involved in my abortion. That includes the abortionist, the attendants & the dad who didn’t care & was in fact glad of what i was doing. Only God first & time second can heel & lead us to forgiveness. I am so sorry that you are being treated this way. I believe that what you do is on the forefront to ending the atrocity of each death that comes with an ultimate price tag of guilt, shame, deceit,pain, anger, alcoholism, drug addiction, promiscuity, depression & the list goes on & on. You stand strong & continue to tell your story. People need to hear your testimony first hand if their is ever going to be a change of heart in this world.
I also feel that for you to be characterized as a danger to children would be the same as characterizing we the post abortive mother’s as being dangerous or unworthy. Nothing could be further from the truth as we recognize that much more how each life is a PRECIOUS GIFT FROM GOD!
GOD BLESS YOU & YOUR WORK & if i can ever be of assistance to you in your work I would be delighted. It is my goal that with the help of GOD & people like you that we defeat the enemy!
Jeanie M. Holmes
oh abby, my heart breaks for you! the fact that you have to endure something like this from those who claim to be on the pro-life side is abhorrent. please know that really, truly, honestly, you have so many people who support and love you for what you have done. you have made such a difference in this world already- i personally know someone who read your book and it motivated her to become a sidewalk counselor!!! you are so strong, and grace is such a lucky little girl to have you as a mother. do not take to heart what others under a “pro-life” label say when they slander you.
stay strong, you awesome and gorgeous and kind-hearted woman you! we’ve got your back 110%. we love you!
Glad you lef the industry Abby and as a Christian I want to apologize for the pain caused by other Christians. Their behaviour is not the heart of Jesus. He loves you and there is no condemnation with Him.
Thanks for being such an inspiration.
Abby, I’m so sorry for this attack. If I could, I would apologize for those who call themselves “Christian,” but do not live out a Christ-honoring lifestyle.
You know these Scriptures, but I’ll repeat them again. There is NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. You are a new creation; your past sins are forgiven by God. God is the God of life, and you are on His side.
It might also be comforting to remember that the murder-turned-Christian Saul/Paul took a lot of friendly fire too. From the Jews and even from fellow “Christians.”
I’m praying the Holy Spirit will protect your heart from these attacks. May God continue to give you a platform to share your life-saving message.
I am so overwhelmed reading your story. You are a very good person who doesn’t deserve the criticism. Unfortunately, we are living in a fallen world. Until we are in heaven, we will have to deal with self-righteous people.
We are all very proud of you for having the courage to stand up against the very large mass of opposition. Stand firm!!
With God, all things are possible!
May God bless you and your work.
Thank you for the insight into your heart and experience.
I am SORRY for those that have trouble embracing you.
We all have pasts, we all have things that we will one day be called to account for. For most of us though, our past decisions are not as public as yours. But KUDOS to you for taking that very scary step and allowing your convictions to drive your life.
I think of Ralph Sockman’s quote:
“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.”
Thank you Abby.
I always tell my Mom when she fusses 3 me over my irregular church attendance, that like Jesus, all my wounds came in the house of my friends. I consider myself a christian, but I wish some people would find a different label for themselves. No where in Jesus message do you find the hate we see today amongst people who claim that title. But that’s just how it is.I am thankful you are no longer performing abortions, and do not think you would be a threat to children. I suppose like all things, there are consequences, and this is one of the many you have to live with. I’m sure it’s painful. Abortion is a passionate subject, and people who have always felt like it was wrong are simply amazed anyone could ever see it diferently. Since it’s legal, there is no punishment for those who did it, or those who do it. Being human, most of us like things in neat little boxes. I can see why people could feel like you committed crimes you are not ever going to pay for. But their view is skewed. Because life has a way of balancing the scales, and no doubt, you have and will continue to pay in guilt and sorrow. But as a christian it isn’t my place to judge, and it isn’t theirs either. Somethings are best left to God. Sending you hate mail is absolutely wrong. God bless you for seeing the light, may he provide you strength to endure the natural consequences of your past, and courage to continue this new path you have chosen. P.s. Quit reading discussions about yourself! Eavesdroppers never hear pleasant things!
I’d like to add my voice to those who speak out in your favour. Taking a public pro-life stance, given your former role, is an incredibly brave thing to do. God bless you.
Lestie Schneidre says
I am praying for you Abby. The Lord sees all that you do on His behalf and above all He knows your heart. I pray that God would continue to use you in a mighty way and that He would bind up your wounds and heal your broken heart. Words hurt, yes they do, and I am asking that God would put His protective hedge about you as you minister to the many, many hurting woman and on behalf of the unborn. Thank you for all you do.
In His love,
Hi Sweet Abby,
I echo the kind words that have been spoken. It is a miracle that the Lord opened your eyes. He is the only One who can touch hearts and He touched yours to see. Without love we are but clanging symbols and sounding brass (1 Corinthians 13). I am sad to hear that you have heard so many negative comments, however, it’s not surprising. Think of Paul, whose eyes were opened after he had even killed Christians. What happened to you was a miracle and you really don’t have to answer to anybody but God (see Romans 14). He is the One that you will answer to one day, not any of these people, whoever they are and whatever they say. Even Christians can be used for evil. Continue to be obedient, despite what opposition you face and know that if you ask, He will give you the strength and the wisdom you need to face them. I am so glad that your voice is out there. We have a lot of opposition and it would be nice if all things were done in love. I will get your book as I am very anxious now to read your story. Leap for joy, Abby, for your reward is great in heaven (Luke 6:23).
Brooke K says
I’m sorry that people have responded this way. It is out of ignorance and fear. You did wrong and have repented for it… and now you are taking your experiences in to the marketplace of ideas. You have a unique platform to defend life… use it.
John 8:7 When they kept on questioning Him (Jesus), he straightened up and said to them, “If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”Psalm 103:12 …as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
He alone is our Judge.
Blessings to you!
Thank you for what you have done and how brave you have been. That never ending criticisms sound like your cross, but Jesus said “pick up your cross and follow me.” Don’t let the enemy discourage you. You followed God’s truth and he hates it and wants to make things miserable for you. I extend to you the complete blessing of the United Hearts of Jesus and Mary and the Baptism of Truth. When I get discouraged I read the messages from heaven in http://www.holylove.org and they give me courage and spiritual food.
Abby-I sympathize with you. I am a Catholic mother of four (soon to be 5). All of my children are five and under. I would say that I am pro-life and enjoy the presence of children, but I continue to receive ridicule from people all around me. Please remember that there will always be something, and as long as your beliefs and actions are in line with the church, Christ takes care of us. We all make mistakes and a few of us are brave enough to admit we have made them. I would include you in those brave few.
Thank you for your story, and what you have changed your life into. It is inspirational to see!!
No matter what others may think of you and your past, you are now living your life in God’s will. I pray that we all may feel the love and mercy of Christ and be willing to have this be reflected in how we treat others!
Well Abby, it is true that if you are speaking at the big NRTL or NRLC event that you are associating with a pretty vile group of people. They promoted the partial birth abortion ban in way that was completely divorced from reality.
Anyways, one of the major points that pro-lifers who criticize you are CORRECT about are these pro-abortion laws you support that end with “….and then you can kill the baby” such as any parental consent law or any ultrasound law.
If you are getting behind these horrible pro-abortion laws that make abortion seem more reasonable then yes you are going to be criticized for it and rightly so.
It’s very unfortunate that you would recieve “hate mail” from anti-abortion minded “Christians”.
There is never going to be perfect peace of mind for someone who has experienced what you have. You are going to have to be more kind to yourself to compensate for the hurt of the past. You will live with the memories and the consequences for the rest of your life. The slate will only be wiped clean in the next life and then you will find perfect peace and joy.
In the meantime I honour you for your courage and change of heart. You are being accountable and making amends in a big way. You deserve love, compassion and forgiveness and only God can truly judge any of us. You need to be very careful to avoid reading gossip or negative comments about yourself. I would question the friend who advised you to read that blog. Why even go there?
Sweetie, I am very protective over my children, maybe even a little too protective…..but I can’t think of any reason, from what you have written in many, many posts and knowing your story why I would fear for my children’s safety around you! You seem like a genuine person, a great mother and imperfect, just like the rest of us. Anyone who said those things about you is not half the person that you are! Thank you for your commitment to the pro-life movement and for daily inspiration in mine!
What these people have said about you comes from a dark place in their hearts. They need our prayers.
Mother In Texas says
I heard you speak at the Fullness Of Truth Conference in Texas. I thought and still think you’ll be an invaluable member of the pro-life movement. I’m sorry you’re getting hate mail.
abby focus on forgiving yourself period and then you can move on to forgive whats been said about you,sometimes doing the right thing isnt always the easiest and being a good person is harder than being bad
Hi, I just have to tell you as someone who is NOW pro-life and I am in awe of you! I have followed your story from the beginning. unfortunately I have worked with and do work with many pro-life groups and it is very sad how they pick on each other. Don’t show dead babies, show dead babies, don’t do this or do this as if there is only one way to reach a soul. The fracture is so deep I sometimes wonder how we get anything done. I imagine if a body worked the way we do how it would ever even walk. Anyway, you keep your head up and eyes fixed firmly upon the Lord He and He alone will guide you through it all. these folks who attack you and call themselves christians are imperfect as well and all we can really do is be who we are called to be, walk the path God has set before us trying to do the next right thing always and pray that the Holy spirit convicts their spirit for the nastiness they spew. May god humble them to the point that they come back to you and apologize. I will keep you in prayer and those who seek to destroy your spirit. Be well and Know you have done well, God must be looking down at you smiling at who you have become.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. God be with you Abby. You are right, Pro-life means loving ALL life and ALL people. After all Love will be what changes the world. People get caught up in their emotions (fear, anger, etc.) and react poorly, don’t let that discourage you because utimately God is the only one any of us have to answer to and our God is an AWESOME God! He is full of kindness and forgiveness and loves you. BTW perhaps you’ve already do this, but maybe receiving grief counseling for the loss of your children and for your job might be helpful. I’m sure writing the book was very healing. Frequent reception of the sacraments, prayer and reading of the scripture can also give grace to help you through your daily difficulties. I hope that you will get a chance to enjoy some of God’s peace soon. Remember Jesus said Peace be with you, My peace I give you. I will pray for you and if you get the chance say a prayer or two for us my son is in the hospital with seizures. Thanks Abby! Keep up the good fight, run the race ; )
Denise Mountenay says
I am so sorry that these immature pro-lifers are still condemning you…however there is therefore now NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus! We are NEW creatures in Christ, that was the old you who was deceived and who did those sins…we ALL sin and fall short, but GOD has called you OUT of darkness and into HIS Light! You are the head and not the tail, you are victorious…and you are standing on Rev. 12:11,12!! Remember this always! Jesus warned there would be wolves in sheep’s clothing, and that we will be persecuted for His sake. So keep going my SISTER in the Lord, and know that you are not alone! Pray for them, forgive them, and remember that Moses, killed a man, and God still used him to deliver God’s people out of bondage! King David committed adultery and had her husband killed, God still loved and used David, Saul, had Christians killed and put into prison, and he became one of the mightiest apostles in the New Testament Church! Praise the Lord! If you ever want to talk, to learn more about pro-life ministry, please call me…I had 3 abortions and have been speaking out for 25 years now. Love, Denise 780-939-5774 http://www.canadasilentnomore.com
Who says – who said..,,who said? Abster forget it all– the hate mail and sing this loud with me, and with your precious daughter. You would love my sons and you could embrace all of them. You are worth it Abbs!
The last will be first, and the first shall be last.
What?? I can hardly believe this!! Leave the ‘killing’ movement, standing up now for what is right … and get lambasted for that?? What? Is there no mercy? That is being more harsh than Christ Himself … He loved even the sinner! Jesus in John 8 said to the woman: “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.”And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Abby has repented, and ‘went and sinned no more’: but her accusers are still so vocal? Shame on them!
And then there is the incident of Paul and how Ananias couldn’t believe God had ‘changed’ him either: “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he has done to Your saints in Jerusalem. And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name.”
But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.” ”
Abby: continue on for Christ’s sake! And may He bless you and continue to make you a blessing!
…I can’t believe someone would talk about you like that 🙁 I’m sorry…You are doing a great job 🙂 keep at it
Julie Culshaw says
Abby, I think your conversion story resembles St Paul’s. And he was not an easy man to understand and I am sure that many people didn’t trust him. But look at how God used him to evangelize the gentile world! You are in a very public place, where your every word and action are scrutinized. But the Lord has put you there and He will sustain you because He has a mighty work for you to do.
This doesn’t surprise me in the slightest, unfortunately. I am a life-long pro-lifer who is in my 40’s, and the people who agree with me on this issue are consistently the most unkind, judgemental, obnoxious people.
The more pro-life they are, the more oblivious they seem to be to their own hatred. They say the most vicious things about pro-choice people, or other pro-lifers they deem as not as committed as themselves.
I have returned home from retreats, meetings, presentations and just personal conversations in tears because of the hatred spewed by pro-lifers who are perfectly lovely when they talk about light topics. They are comfortable saying very hateful things about politicians, clergy they deem as not supportive enough, and other individuals.
I’ve been active in the pro-life movement for a long time, and I think I have come up with the reason for their nasty, self-righteous behavior. The more convinced we are that God is on our side, the more confident we are in Him forgiving us for crossing lines. Eventually, there is no more line. They feel such a sense of urgency in saving lives (and rightfully so), they stop playing by the rules.
This is not universal in the movement, there are exceptions. And, I’m not trying to excuse their abominable behavior. I’ve witnessed it and also been victim to it. There is no way I would ever admit to the things you have. Not because I don’t think you SHOULD be forgiven, but because I wouldn’t expect that you WOULD be.
I don’t witness this in other movements I have been a part of, like the anti-war movement. There are unkind people in every movement, but it’s far more prevalent in the pro-life movement, unfortunately.
It’s a vicious movement full of inconsistent people who are subject to human nature. We have to try to fill it with as much love as we can, just like every other aspect of our lives. Keep it up.
Whoever said that about you is a punk! God calls us to love, not to hate!
I will be praying for you. It is hard to be in the spotlight. I would be willing to bet that the percentage of people who thank and act that way is very small. They are just very vocal. You are doing very courageous work. Please keep it up. We need more people like you.
Prior to reading your book, I was a judgmental Christian and didn’t know it. Since reading it, my life and the way I respond to all people has radically changed. I can’t thank you enough, Abby. I believe “Unplanned” should be required reading for all Christians. The issue as I see it goes far deeper than pro-life vs pro-choice–Ephesians 6:12 says “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” In your book, you talked about being judged when you were prochoice and judged when you were prolife. Now I see it at play again in what you just wrote. If spiritual forces keep people deceived and at war with one another, we will always lose sight of the issue at hand, no matter the issue God has us dealing with. Abby, thank you for bringing the DECEPTION of the enemy to LIGHT. Our enemy is THE enemy, not each other! Thank you Abby for seeing that your enemy isn’t flesh and blood. She never is, never was and never will be. Keep fighting! There are many fighting with you, not on the battle lines with you but we are there in prayer and in spirit. God’s peace be with you.
Wow Abby! You bring up some very good points and I am so sorry that I did not realize this sooner. Your post has definitely broadened my perspective that although we all may be fighting for similar goals, we need to care for those involved in this cause. We can’t forget the dynamic of the human person. I will pray for you and please Abby ….don’t ever lose hope. It’s easier to focus your attention on a few bad apples. God just hasn’t shown you how much fruit you have helped to grow! Always trust and hope in the Lord! Your brother in Christ!
James Vanden Brink says
Abby,I just finished reading your book tonight. There is no doubt you are doing the right thing. If everyone had their past held against them few of us could stand up under that scrutiny. God bless
I just finished reading your story–Wow! I used to believe I was pro-choice but I could never abort. . .but after much prayer, thought, and reading your book, I am definitely pro-life. I’m going to look at getting involved in forty days campaign in a city near me. Prayers for your continued strength and thank you for your willingness to share–so much to question and learn of myself from reading this book!!
Abby,When I came to see you speak several months ago in my town, I had never been involved in the pro-life movement, but I came because I discerned that God wanted me there. Just a short time before seeing you speak, I read the most horrific story about an abortion clinic. I have always been pro-life, but God used this to wake me up. It was one moment in my life I will never forget and I sorrowfully cried out to God, “What do you want me to do about this?” well…
Jesus says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7 7-8
And my journey, the opening of the door, began with you! He is using you in ways beyond what you could ever imagine! And now I experience abundant joy and peace in my life because I am obeying Him in the perfect plan he is working through me.
Please don’t allow what some say about you to discourage you! You are part of His marvelous plan and I thank God for your bravery and humility to accept His call on your life! The most powerful thing we can do is completely and totally submit our lives to Him. Ask for Jesus to make us more like Him and to see others the way He would. It is so powerful! Not only does the Lord want us there to pray for and intervene for those precious little boys and girls at risk of death at the hands of the abortion clinic, and their mothers, He wants our prayers for the workers, the abortionist, the security and the pro-abortion protesters. The Holy Spirit has called and enabled me to pray so sincerely and fervently for those working at the abortion clinic as well as for the mothers and of course, their precious children. The Lord wants them converted and when they repent and seek forgiveness, He will use them. He works miracles when we submit to Him, answer His call and pray and counsel at the sidewalk. He works all things together for good. You are proof of that!
Seek the Lord with all your heart and pray without ceasing. Place all of your devotion to Jesus Christ and your work, which He works in you, will flow from Him. Love will conquer abortion. Love never fails. In Christ, Lia.
Just finished the book. Bought it at “Portico” in Sydney the same time you were doing an interview there downstairs. Wish I’d met you now that I’ve got to know you by reading your story. It should be standard reading in the pro-life movement. Those who disparage you only prove they haven’t read it, or how could they not value you? Not to have read UNPLANNED may henceforth be considered a lack of education in this great movement.
Abby,Every pro-lifer who has had an IUD, taken a low-dose birth control pill, used IVF to conceive a child, etc., has participated in aborting their own children. I’ll bet many of those who lambast you have done these things.
Converts are what we need and your conversion is what we’ve all been praying for.
Ignore those fuddy duds who haven’t the sophistication, insight or humility to recognize what a gift you are. Their spiritual development is at the kindergarten level. Their judgmentalism should be focused on the social engineers who’ve normalized abortion.
Michaela – if people implant all the embryos they make, they’re not aborting their own children.
Abby – I’ve had to stop reading the comments at a lot of pro-life websites for the sake of my own mental health. It amazes me how the pro-life movement is so willing to divide itself, and how a lot of pro-lifers won’t trust the genuine involvement of other people if those other people don’t agree with them about everything. I’m bisexual, which has nothing to do with abortion, and I keep running into comments like “homosexuality is part of the culture of death” or “homosexuals support the pro-deathers because they both refuse to accept God’s will”. I wouldn’t even care all that much if people disagreed with me if they could stay on-topic and focus on actually saving babies, but a lot of people can’t. I never expected to find rants about GLBT people on a pro-life site when I first started getting active in the pro-life movement. All you have to do is mention that you don’t fit someone’s stereotype and suddenly you’re the enemy at worst and a misguided poor lost soul at best.
Anyway, I decided to use the time I used to spend reading comments on pro-life sites to knit baby blankets for Birthright. Six donated, three ready to go and two more in the works! 🙂
Haters gonna hate. You did the right thing, you’re doing the right thing, and if anyone can’t see that, it’s their loss.
I believe this is an aspect of all of us being at different levels in our spiritual development and also a symptom of that tendency we all have to not want to look at our own sin. Everyone else looks so much worse than us in this light. This is why we should pray for those who persecute us, so that they may be perfected in their walk as we will be in ours.I also have to say that while I have definitely encountered hypocritical and judgmental Christians, as a single mom who was helped by a crisis pregnancy center, all the pro-life people I encountered where, without exception, compassionate people who gave of their very best, without any condescension or judgement.
Abby, you are an amazing woman with an awesome story that is saving so many lives! It’s sad that there are some people that go under the heading of Pro-life and still treat you this way, they are hurting the movement very much! I have read your book and let several people borrow it. I also recommend it to anyone that brings up the subject of Life with me.. Thank you for all you do and everything you’ve risked for all the unborn children in our world.
I am a missionary on an Native American reservation in Arizona. I see a great deal of people struggling with issues of the past. Not so much THEM struggling but people they knew before. So many of them have had an addiction to something or another. Many were not good parents, whether that was they were violent or they were just absent. I’ve heard multiple times how now that they’ve have found Jesus they are free from all that and the want to live good right lives, yet the people they knew from before, their friends, their children, struggle. Their friends and family don’t believe that they’ve changed. They have held onto the past and cannot seem to let in go. The bad person that they once was is so ingrained in their friends and family’s mind that even after a powerful conversion, all that bad, though gone in God’s eyes, is still hanging over their heads in their friends’ and family’s eyes.
One of my favorite verses for this type of situation is “2 Corinthians 5:17 17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” It may take awhile for people to see that new creation but we have to keep hanging onto that verse. That old person, the one that enabled precious lives to be lost, isn’t the person God sees. Certainly God can, has and will continue to use your story. I mean that’s what a testimony is, a personal life story that says “I was here but though an amazing awesome, powerful God, I am no longer there. He has brought me through.” Probably not everyone will believe it but God knows your heart. God knows the hearts of people I work with on the reservation.
He HAS made us new creations. Meaning he didn’t just remodel us. He started fresh, clean and new when we submitted our lives to Him. Isn’t that awesome God allows us to start new? If were are to be like Christ like the name Christian (Little Christ) implies should we not look people the same way? If God says they are new creations then we should say they are new creations too.
Okay, so I say I don’t preach, that I am just a sunday school teacher but when I have something to say I just have to say it. My daddy is a preacher. I get it from him and I am sorry if my comment is too long. LOL
Susie Allen says
As a convert I am so sorry to hear this. I did not experience this but I am not well known and did not work in the industry. As a pro life activist I would like to apologize for those who are showing you less than Christian love as you seek to make a new life.
Abby,You are likely experiencing what the book of Peter 1 references. You are standing for Christ in your work, you are experiencing persecution/suffering as a result. Although it’s tough and heart wrenching…You are being blessed in a big big way for this suffering. Read 1 Peter and continue to cry out to the Lord for his strength thru this. HE will ‘perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you’ as a result of your suffering during this season. Stay strong in Christ. We thank GOD for all you do and pray for you to keep up the good fight. I look forward to meeting you at our PCC event in October here in beautiful Grants Pass OR. Lord Bless and comfort you!
Cyndi Caillouet says
Abby, I am very sorry that Christians are mistreating you in that way. There is no excuse for it and it breaks my heart. I have many very loving and accepting Christian friends who truly reflect the love of Jesus, but occasionally you run across one who isn’t nice and definitely does not know what the word of God says. As I have told you, I too had an abortion 37 years ago today. I spoke at a large church where I live some years ago and a lady came to me afterwards and told me that abortion is the one sin that God cannot forgive. I know your pain! I have been forgiven and set free and His grace through His death on the cross covers ALL of my sins! Keep up the good work. God bless you.
Paula Havard says
I am so sorry that you have been met with “friendly, or not so friendly, fire”. I am perplexed by it and as I read your post I began to understand why so many liberals are getting weary of pro-lifers or Christians. How in the world can we have the love of Christ in us and yet be so hateful and unloving toward others.
I am looking forward to having you at our banquet in November. At some point, I need to discuss some things with you regarding that event. If you would, please e-mail me and we can discuss.
God bless you and your efforts. Please know that there are many of us who are thankful for you seeing the light and believe that you can make a huge impact . . .even in your imperfections! 🙂 Blessings.