Last year, I brought my whole family to the March for Life in Washington, D.C. including my 4 year old daughter, Grace. She frequently goes out to the abortion clinics with me to pray. She knows what it means to be pregnant. She has a very simplified understanding of abortion.
She hadn’t ever been exposed to any graphic signs before, but I knew she would be at the March for Life. I didn’t know what she would say or how she would handle it, but I didn’t want to hide them from her. We were walking to the March and walked by a large exhibit that showed graphic signs. I thought, “Okay, here we go. She will definitely see this.” When we got in front of the sign that showed an aborted baby at 24 weeks, she stopped and stared.
I stopped, knelt down beside her, put my hand on her shoulder and waited for her to respond. She probably stood there and stared in silence for about 15 seconds, which is about the equivalent of a year in 4 year old time. Then, she turned around and looked at me with a compassionate expression. She pointed to the picture and said, “Mommy, that baby is broken.”
I smiled at the simplicity and accuracy of her observation. I simply responded, “Yes, Grace. That baby has been broken.” She grabbed my hand and started walking again.
I wasn’t sure if or how she had been affected by what she saw that day until a few nights later when we were saying our night time prayers. Grace was praying and said, “Please keep babies from being broken and keep them safe in their mommy’s tummies.” I sighed with relief. She understood it. She had made the connection between abortion and that broken baby.
I am writing this to encourage parents to talk to your kids about the reality of abortion. Children are perceptive. They are able to understand so much more than we think they are able to understand. Their honesty is real. I’m sure some will criticize me for bringing Grace out to the abortion clinics to pray at such a young age, but I think it is appropriate.
My goal is to have her active in this movement. I want her to know that she can make a difference, that she is already making a difference, regardless of her age. I want her to see her mom and dad leading by example. I want her to know that we are not people who just say we are pro-life. We are people who live out our pro-life beliefs.
This goes for everything we are involved in. I don’t want my children to be sheltered from the reality in this world. When we volunteer at homeless shelters, she is there with us. When there is a young girl who needs a place to live, we are happy to bring her into our home and make her a part of our family. If we go pray to spare the life of someone about to be executed, Grace will be there with us.
We always want Grace to put our money in the offering plate at church. Every six months, Grace does a big toy clean out. She gathers her toys that she no longer wants and we go donate them to various charities. Being pro-life doesn’t just stop at the abortion clinics for our family. We are pro-quality of life. We want Grace to see that.
Trust me when I say that we are not going to win any “parents of the year” awards, but if there is one thing I can instill in my child, it is truth through charity. I always want to be the number one person cheering on my daughter to not just do the right thing, but to always do the right thing in love and charity. I always pray that she be honest at all times. I pray that she learn how to be honest from us, her parents. I pray that we set a good example for her. I pray that she grow up with a solid understanding of the value of life. I pray that she is able to see the value in all life, born and unborn.
I pray that pro-life parents will empower their own children, starting at a young age, to get involved in this movement. Your pro-life witness might be the best inheritance you can leave for your children.
Wow. How amazing that she already gets it. Thank you for sharing your story!
Hello Abby,We were so blest to hear you speak about how God set you free from deception and showed you His “Truth” about abortion and Planned Parenthood in Grants Pass, OR last night. He is so redemptive! My wife thinks you are a modern day Paul. Stand fast my friend, The gates of Hell will not prevail! Ps 86:11
I remember when I was a little kid and I first found out about abortion, I could hardly believe people would actually be allowed by law to do something like that. To me it was so obvious that if the law said you couldn’t kill anybody, that should apply to ANYBODY, period. I also didn’t understand why someone would ever want to have an abortion, because babies were nice and people always got excited when they found out someone was going to have a baby. I also knew that my parents tried really hard to have me and had tried really hard to have another baby until I was six – I used to go with my mom to her medical appointments and spin around in the doctor’s chair – and I thought it didn’t make sense for someone to kill a person other people wanted. If you had clothes or a book or something that you didn’t want and that other people could use, you gave it to them. You didn’t throw it in the trash.
Of course, now as an adult I understand that giving your baby to someone is a lot harder than giving your clothes or books to someone, but I still think the general principle applies. Even if abortion wasn’t about killing babies, why destroy something that someone else would be happy to have? I also grew up with a lot of adopted kids; I’m from Minnesota and during my childhood Minnesota had the highest rate of Korean adoptees in the country, so you always knew who the adopted kids were because they were Asian with white parents. Considering I knew so many adopted kids, I knew it wasn’t like giving a baby to someone else was impossible.
With Grace, just make sure that the enormity of the situation doesn’t overwhelm her and make her feel hopeless. I was a really sensitive little kid and I really internalized other people’s pain, to the point where sometimes I felt like the world was just a cold, mean-spirited place. It’s good that you’re showing Grace things she can do to actively make a difference. 🙂
When people become angry with me after their children see a graphic sign I am holding up, I tell them that their children understand better than the parents think they do. They tell me it will traumatize their children. I tell them not unless the children see their parents freak out. Then the children are traumatized by their parents freaking out, not by the graphic abortion sign.
I’ve actually heard many children say the same thing Grace did. I’ve also heard children say, “Fix the baby.” I pray that such young children won’t have to be pro-lifer activists when they are older. Abortion will end when the Church decides it will end.
Wow, so true.
I’m 16, and I have friends who are telling me that me working in the pro-life movement is wrong because of my age. But if Grace isn’t too young, then I’m not either. I’ve written a song about abortion and I want to play it for my youth group, but my friends don’t feel like it’s my place to sing the song. They tell me that the parents of the kids may not want their kids being exposed to that. They’re highschoolers for goodness sakes! And they’re constantly exposed to this stuff anyway. They go to public school where making-out between classes is just the beginning of what teenage girls and boys do. And these kids know that abortion has a real prevalence in our society, possibly even more than their parents do.
1/3 of our generation has been massacred by abortion. Because of that, I believe that it is completely our place (specifically my generation in this case) to take a stand for life. Thanks so much for this post! I will be sharing the link to this on my blog!
Aubry Stewart
I, too, am very honest with my seven year old. She has known about abortion for a while now and wonders why anyone would ever do that. I know that people don’t think it is appropriate, but where were the signs when I was growing up? I will tell you that all of our generations ARE deceived. I feel that being open and honest with my child is the best thing I can do to teach her to be open and honest with me. It’s parenting 101…model the behavior you want your child to exhibit. Also, I would rather her learn from me as opposed to our secularist society. Every generation deserves to hear the TRUTH!God bless you Abby!
I think all that is wonderful, I just want you to remember one thing. Your daughter will have her own mind, her own agenda. She may or may not be as passionate as you are about abortion. There may be something else she wants to focus on and put her energy into. She may not follow in your footsteps on this. Please allow her to do that if she chooses and don’t push off on her that she must choose to be passionate about the things you are. Yes, pictures of aborted babies are graphic. But THAT is the world we are living in. In some places you need to shelter your children, in others they need to be exposed. I personally think that 4 years old is too young to see such images, but I’m not her mother. You are. You seem to be doing your best to raise your daughter to be the best she can be. I think that is great!
I am more worried about the pornography that society and big business make us view everytime we stand in line at the grocery store!!
Great job Abby! You did a wonderful job answering your daughter’s questions simply and directly. My daughter was also very young when she started asking questions about abortion (after a life-chain event we attended). Much like you I tried to answer at her level, honestly and openly. She is now 14 years old and prays beside me at the local abortion clinic. She is hugely pro-life and even has her own pro-life website. Also she has decided to wait for marriage for her first kiss. What a blessing : ) If you speak openly and honestly about things like abortion, sex and other difficult questions early, they learn it’s okay to ask questions and are more receptive to learning from Mom and Dad than later in life when friends may have a strong influence. Goodluck with your amazing daughter Abby. Pray for Mary to watch over her as she grows. God bless you both! p.s. My 3yr old is starting to ask questions : )
It is ironic and hypocritical that the Jesus-hating terrorist Scott Melvin Evans would comment.I know from personal experience.
I live two blocks away from where Scott bullies people nearly every Saturday (Scott Evans calls his bullying and harassing behavior “sidewalk counseling”). We all know exactly who Scott is and every single time I drive by there (like this past Saturday morning), he is out there with a ridiculous looking small video camera mounted to his shoulder, makes terrible loud noises blowing on some horn, all in some vain attempt to overcome some major insecurities, and all while trying to videotape everyone and violating everyone’s right to privacy. My neighbors and I have researched these people and almost all of them are criminals!
Scott Melvin Evans and convicted criminals Jo Anne Scott (convicted of federal charges of conspiring to bomb a clinic!) and Ken Tyler Scott (convicted deadbeat dad!), are all Jesus-hating “sidewalk counselors” and have disgusting, photo-shopped signs, bloody plastic children’s baby dolls, morbid “baby caskets”, and fake ‘abortion’ posters of bloody babies, and these are all over the streets in our neighborhood. They have giant signs of miscarriages and knowingly falsely present them as “abortions”.
I recently found out that Ken Scott has been committed to a mental hospital before because of his actions! Before I found this out, Ken had invited me out to join them after my neighbor’s church went out for the 40 days for life protest. I was appalled at what I witnessed out on the public street! Their tactics are awful and even anti-human.
I have two daughters, both on birth control until they are ready to have my grandchildren (hopefully soon!), and if Scott harassed them like that, I would call the police on him. I met several of the other horrible bullies next to the driveway on that Saturday and got their names: Beau Ballentine, Leslie Hanks, Tony Massey, and Cliff Powell. They are out there regularly and are yelling nasty stuff too. They all try to emulate Scott Evans or Ken Scott’s aggressive, obnoxious, anti-Jesus behaviour.
They know no boundaries, are very loud, obnoxious and aggressive and I can often hear them yelling and making noise from my back yard! NONE of my neighbors want to drive near these horrible images and activities, especially when we have our young children in the car. Everyone reading this take a minute and imagine how you would feel if you had these grotesque signs lining the streets in your neighborhood! We are sick of it. These “protestors” all seem to try to video tape and intimidate anyone who drives down Pontiac street here in Denver and will lie to and mislead ANYONE who they can get to stop to listen, or otherwise is within earshot.
These “sidewalk counselors” are out there nearly every day, and apparently paid to be there by Bob Adolph Enyart of Denver Bible Church in Arvada.
Fact: “Pastor” Bob Adolph Enyart was sentenced to 60 days in jail for beating a 7 year old boy so hard with a belt that he bled! This is the kind of person he truly is the leader of the pack and Scott Evans and Ken Scott follow his every whim, doing the devil’s work.
They are all blasphemous towards the sacred Christian Bible and are harassing many REAL Christians, most whom are going into a clinic for birth control and other needed medical services (many from our surrounding neighborhood!). They do so much harm to the anti-abortion cause, which should be peaceful. I personally would like to see us get to the point where abortion is rare or non-existent.
GOD will be the judge of all of us one way or another, NOT these terrible bullies! Jesus was peaceful and would have never done any of this and would not have approved in any way. These “sidewalk counselors” are the new Westboro Baptist Church of our community and their arrogant ignorance is so sad and pathetic that it sickens me.
These are the worst of the worst of anti-abortion (and anti-gay) extremists. Anyone that associates with these people will be judged the same way by the public and by God (as mentally ill, sadistic and psychopathic!) There is a special place in Hell for all of these people, but it’s just as well, since these “sidewalk counselors” hate Jesus and are doing the devil’s work.
I am a member of a very large and REAL Christian Church south of Denver and our Pastor gave a wonderful sermon on Sunday about how these “sidewalk counselor” bullies blaspheme the name of the Lord. Our Pastor encouraged us to engage Voice of Choice (http://www.vochoice.org) to help attempt to get the protesters to see that this should not be about anyone’s stance on abortion, but to NOT BULLY and NOT HARRASS your fellow human beings.
Hundreds of the parishioners have contacted Voice of Choice and offered their services to do what they could do to help. I hope you will do the same. Please pray for the protesters!
Here’s another preschooler who gave almost the same response to a graphic image (see the preface):http://www.amazon.com/Broke-Baby-Abortion-Slogans-Really/dp/0764220500#reader_0764220500