I just stood there…and cried. I closed my eyes. I could feel their breath on my neck. They were yelling inches from my ear. “Whose choice? My choice.” I had forgotten what this darkness felt like.
I opened my eyes and noticed a familiar face. It was one of my former friends from Planned Parenthood. I smiled and waved when I saw her. It was as if I had forgotten that we were no longer friends, not because of who I am, but because of what I now defend.
She mouthed something profane at me, very slowly, so I would be sure to catch what she said. Now I remembered. We were not on the same side. Our eight year long friendship was over, regardless of how much I had wished it wasn’t.
I was standing in the largest rotunda in Texas State Capitol. There were about five of us pro-lifers. Thousands of people surrounded us, people who supported abortion, a crowd I used to be part of. There were many other pro-lifers there, but they were in the gallery, in legislative offices, and in lines to get into the gallery.
I needed to be in the middle. I had to feel that heaviness. Sometimes, I forget what it feels like. I need to be reminded from time to time. It reminds me why I fight so hard and what we are truly up against.
I went to the Capitol every day. Most of the time there wasn’t much to do. However, it was important just to be there in our blue shirts with our peaceful and prayerful attitude. The abortion supporters were profane. They were vulgar. They had succumbed to evil and they didn’t seem aware of it. We had to be there because when we were there, Christ was there too.
June 25 – I went to the Capitol with my 5 day old son. I had written “abortion is mean” on the side of his infant carrier. I was amazed at the comments from the abortion supporters as I walked through the building with him in his stroller.
“He is so adorable,” they would say. One woman said, “What a precious gift.” It might have been hormones or possibly the sheer irony, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to respond. “Yes, he is beautiful. And just 5 days ago, it would have been legal to kill him by abortion. That’s what you are here to support.” I received no response from anyone, just blank stares.
I walked into the gallery during the Wendy Davis show. By show, I mean her failed filibuster. I listened to her read story after story, lie after lie. It was hard not to stand up and yell out the truth. However, I listened and I was truly amazed.
Here was this woman who clearly knew nothing about Planned Parenthood’s reality. She had bought every line they had thrown at her. It was pathetic to think that this hired performer, paid for by the abortion industry, was willing to sacrifice so much. No breaks, no going to the bathroom (hence her catheter), no food, and no water. Nothing.
What was the purpose? To ensure that women have easy access to kill their children. I could do nothing, except pray for her. A vote was taken that night, but it was two minutes too late. The disrespectful crowd in the gallery had delayed the vote just long enough. So, we waited for Rick Perry to make a call.
June 26 – Perry made the call. He announced that there would be a 2nd special session. We weren’t surprised, as we really have the best dang governor in the country. We worked to rally even more troops for our side. We knew we were going to win. We knew we had the votes.
However, we had to win the argument too. Talking points were being written and distributed to pro-life groups. Facebook groups were created in order to keep everyone on the same page. People were excited. They knew we were, once again, walking into a spiritual battle. Though, this time we had more troops, and we were armed with prayer.
July 1 – The 2nd special session began. Pro-lifers showed up in droves. There were hardly any abortion supporters at the Capitol that day, but we knew they were coming.
Over the course of the next few days, the bill made its way to the final vote… through the House Committee, through the Senate Committee, through the Senate floor, through the House floor. It was finished. The votes had been tallied.
Texas had now passed the most restrictive pro-life legislation in the country, but it wasn’t without opposition. The abortion supporters had come. They had come with their vulgar signs. They had come with their profane language. They had come with their disrespectful attitude. And yes, they came with their used tampons and jars of feces. It was a spectacle.
They handcuffed themselves to railings. They threw tampons in the air. They took their bras off and waived them around. They yelled, screamed, and cursed at our children. They were full of anger and hate, but underneath all of it, they were full of pain.
I have felt a lot of things since leaving the abortion industry. Namely, sadness, lots of guilt, remorse, and pain. Honestly, I had never felt embarrassment until those days at the Texas Capitol. While I don’t think I would have thrown a used tampon on a legislator, I would have laughed when someone else did it. I would have thought it was brilliant.
That’s the point. Their mind is no longer solely their own, even though their free-will remains. With every evil act, sin, a person commits, the evil hooks itself deeper and deeper into you, until your thoughts, words, and behavior, are not heavily influenced by it. You are more susceptible to those temptations in that particular evil and tempted with other more sinister types.
When I think back to my time with Planned Parenthood I can’t even believe some of the things that came out of my mouth. It’s like I was a different person. In a way, I was a different person.
That must be our prayer, that these misguided individuals would one day become new creations in Christ. That’s what I pray for my former friend, the one I saw at the Capitol. That’s what I pray for all clinic workers. It’s what I pray for women who have chosen abortion. It’s what I pray for those people who stood around me in the rotunda, those who were screaming in my ears and staring at me with such evil disdain. I pray because I know it works.
I had never been more proud to be pro-life than those days at the Texas Capitol. We showed up and we made a difference. We put up a fight, a holy fight, for Christ and His Truth. We were united for one cause. We were compassionate. We were slow to anger. We were kind. We were merciful. We were prayerful. We were exactly what Christ intended us to be. And now, we are being rewarded. Abortion clinics are already closing. Yes, we will win.
Recently, I saw an article that showed Wendy Davis on the front cover. The headline read, “Game On.” Hmm. With all of these clinic closures, I’m thinking it’s more like “Game Over.”
Dr. Dave Rusch says
Abbie – Game not over yet – but we are taking the field more and more. God bless you and keep up the work for life.
Michael Welter says
In the face of such hatred, rage and vulgarity, it is easy to return hatred, rage and vulgarity. But that doesn’t change hearts. Abby, you know so well that love is what changes hearts, like it did for you, and it did for Norma McCorvey. Not only do we need to fight this fight with love, but we need to teach our fellow soldiers to love the enemy, just as Christ told us.
Teri Drda says
Whoa Abby…I keep thinking “if I could just find the right words to help these people SEE what they are doing is wrong” but that isn’t going to do it, is it? This is a battle against the evil one. Jesus said that some demons could only be driven out with prayer and fasting. Okay then!
Erin Clark says
Great story, had me in tears. God is doing amazing things all the time. I’m praying for you and for you to be infused with His strength. “The Devil comes only to lie and to kill and to destroy.”
Gerry King Hitt says
Having been an abortion protester since it was legalized in 1973 I am extremely interested in what other pro life people’s experiences are in fighting abortion. I used to protest every single piece of pro abortion commentary in my newspaper, The Arizona Republic, and I would also send protests to other publications on occasion like Newsweek. The Arizona Republic kept me so busy protesting I got chronic fatigue and could not go on vacation one year. I also began blogging online on AOLfor three years then went to blogger and from there to Facebook where I have done a lot of NOTES protesting abortion. I use both my blog and Facebook to write political commentary. I saw your Facebook profile and subscribed to it and share a number of your entries on Facebook with my Facebook friends. A number of my Facebook friends are strong supporters of pro life. I see you have been blogging a long while, so I bookmarked it. I bought your book, “UnPlanned,” read it and sent it on. And continue to think of you as a very strong pro life advocate because you understand the mind set of the supporter of abortion so well.
I had a sad thing happen in my family, a sister who had had an outstanding career in public health nursing (she was also a nurse practitioner) and when she retired in her fifties she was persuaded by PP to head a clinic in St. George. She told them she would not do abortions, and she also brought her daughter who became a graduate nurse and her DIL into the clinic to work with her. I knew very well she could not work for a big abortion provider like PP without being influenced by what they were doing. She just thought it was a good deal for her. But as soon as PP started getting a lot of criticism she took great offense to me talking about PP in a negative way! She pointed out that I was not really affecting anyone with my protesting and she was doing a lot more for women in a PP clinic. I told her she was getting paid to do what she was doing, she was a professional nurse. She would get upset every year when her clinic would be picketed. Saying she was not providing abortions, but I knew that PP hoped to persuade her eventually to do them, and that the clinics who did provide abortions were actually supporting those who didn’t. I felt very bad because I felt that she was potentially someone who could have done a lot for the cause but had allied herself with PP. She died suddenly, but her daughter still works for them, and takes kind of a head in the sand attitude that they are doing a lot of good for women and don’t provide abortions, but she just sort of ignores the fact that abortion is taking so many lives in this country and that basically that is what PP is all about. I feel bad because Mormon Utah has low abortion numbers but has yet to take a strong role nationally in fighting abortion. They take the low numbers for granted, but don’t concern themselves with the high abortion numbers in other states.
I am hoping that eventually they will realize how important this cause is because legalized abortion has engulfed the world.
Gerry King Hitt
Thank you for posting your latest blog “Whose choice? My choice”!
I was there in Austin during those days and I re-lived that experience with you.
Being a geologist and scientist, I always asked myself “what is the core difference between pro-life and pro-abortion folks?”
The answer I gave myself has always been “the pro-abortion side doesn’t consider an unborn baby as human, so that s/he can justify the killing”.
While that is certainly true, your blog made me think.
You say “Once evil breaks in, your thoughts, your words, and your behavior is not controlled by you” !
Once evil sets in, you no longer control yourself, Evil controls you!
It was as a light bulb went off.
That is why it makes sense to have compassion and to pray incessantly for people involved in the abortion industry and for pro-abortion folks!!
It’s not just a matter of science and logic, but also primarily a supernatural battle!
Thanks and Gob bless you!
Heather Shearfield says
Thank you for posting Abby. I was in Austin on that last day, when HB2 passed.
The heaviness you described was palpable.
I have been pro-life many years but have just recently become active and this was my first event.
I made the gallery but not before seven hours in line being screamed at and taunted. Myself and the other pro-lifers around me prayed quietly or sang when the evil reached a crescendo. “Whose choice….our choice” cadence rang in my ears days after leaving Austin. And my spirit felt scraped raw.
One particularly good was when a pro-life friend just couldnt take it anymore and in the midst of the “whose choice, our choice” shouting,pointed her shaking finger to God and with a quivering voice said “ITS HIS CHOICE”.
But the other side cannot see the beauty in a life that includes obedience to God and His laws. Forgive them, pray for them, they know not what they do.
Tanya Hulbert says
Sitting here in tears. Thank you for your hard work and yes, prayer does work. I just bought your book, “unPlanned” and looking forward to the read. Thanks again.
Carla B says
Thankyou so much for your courage Abby. It’s true that we don’t battle against flesh and blood, but against Evil itself.
Anna Richter says
Thank you so much for writing that article. We were there for three days of the 2nd Special session and a “special” session it was.I love the way you put it : “Those days at the Texas Capitol, I had never been more proud to be prolife. We showed up and we made a difference. We put up a fight…a holy fight…a fight for Christ and His Truth. We were united for one cause. We were compassionate. We were slow to anger. We were kind. We were merciful. We were prayerful. We were exactly what Christ intended us to be. And now we are being rewarded. Abortion clinics are already closing. Yes, we will win.”
I really appreciate all the work you’ve done to protect the unborn.
I just have one question, what can a 14 year old girl in San Antonio do to stop abortion? I know the power of prayer and I do pray about it a lot. But is there something else I can do for this cause? I’m willing to help in what ever way I can.