In 2009, I had my tonsils removed after they had been bothering me for a while.No one knows what they are really for anyway, so I figured I should go ahead and have them out. I knew a lot of tonsil-less people, so I wasn’t nervous at all about surgery.
A couple days before I went “under the knife” I had my pre-op visit with my ENT. We were going over a few things that I was already aware of, but then he started talking about the risks. I guess I hadn’t really thought there would be risks with a tonsillectomy. The risks included severing vocal cords and being unable to speak, damage to teeth, extreme blood loss, damage to my tongue, and even death. WHAT???
Hmm, maybe I should reconsider and just keep my annoying tonsils. Suddenly, I became incredibly nervous. My doctor assured me that my fears were a bit irrational, but for precaution he just HAD to tell me those things. Needless to say, two days later, the tonsils came out. I didn’t have any problems. My throat has never been happier.
Now, flashback to 2003, when I was 23 years old, a volunteer at Planned Parenthood, a college student, eight weeks pregnant by my husband, a husband I was divorcing. I didn’t want a baby so I had a solution, which was to have an abortion.
I had already gone through with one abortion and it was easy. Surely, this time it would be the same. Instead of a surgical abortion, I thought this time I would choose a more “natural” way to abort by choosing the medication-induced abortion.
This time it included only pills and that seemed really simple. Everything was done at home. It was private, on your schedule, under your control, and seemed generally less invasive. According to Planned Parenthood it was, “Nothing worse than a heavy period.”
That sounded pretty easy to me. So, I took the bait. I made an appointment and compiled the money I needed. The day came and it really felt like any other day. Since I wasn’t undergoing surgery, I wasn’t nervous. I mean, this was going to be simple.
At the clinic, I filled out paperwork, had some basic lab work done, received an ultrasound (that I don’t remember), and got put in a room for abortion counseling. I had brought someone with me, but I, of course, had to do all of this alone. No one except the patient was allowed past the waiting room.
I remember my “counseling” as if it happened yesterday. “You will have some heavy bleeding and period like cramps. None of it should last too long. You will be back to normal in a couple days,” my counselor said. “Sounds good,” I remember saying. I mean, I guess it did sound pretty good.
I was able to get rid of my biggest burden for $400.00 and a little cramping. Not a bad deal. There didn’t appear to be any risks or side effects. If there were any, we sure didn’t go over them. Surely if there were risks they would have told me about them, right? So the exchange was made. I gave them $400.00 and they gave me a Mifeprex pill and a brown bag of pills to take home.
After taking the Mifeprex, I felt great! No side effects, just like she said. The next day, I did as I was instructed to do. I ate a light lunch and took the 4 pills in my brown bag called Misoprostol. They told me these were the pills that would start my bleeding and cramping, but nothing a few Ibuprofen couldn’t handle.
I was told after taking the pills at home that I would probably start bleeding in about an hour. So, I made myself comfortable on the bed and turned the TV on, but about 10 minutes later I started to experience a pain in my abdomen unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Then, the blood came and it was gushing out of me.
I wasn’t able to wear a pad because nothing was able to absorb the amount of blood I was losing. The only thing I could do was sit on the toilet. I sat there for hours bleeding, throwing up into the bathroom trashcan, crying, and sweating. I used to watch shows about childbirth. I would see these women in labor and they would be covered in sweat.
I would always think, “Do they keep it hot in the delivery room or what?” However, at that moment, sitting on the toilet, I knew it wasn’t from heat, it was from the pain.
After several hours on the toilet, I desperately wanted to soak in the bath tub. I was hoping that would help me feel better. Maybe the warm water would help the cramping. Certainly, it would make me smell better.
I had vomit all in my hair and on my legs, not to mention how sweaty I had been. I filled the tub and climbed in, and actually, it did feel pretty good. I remember closing my eyes and leaning my head back. I felt exhausted. The cramps kept coming, but the water helped soothe them somewhat.
I opened my eyes after 15 minutes and was horrified to find my bathwater bright red. It looked like I was sitting in the middle of a crime scene. I supppose it was a crime scene. I mean, I had just murdered my child.
I knew I had to get up and wash the blood off of me. I stood up slowly and straightened out my body. As soon as I was completely upright, I felt a pain worse than any other I had experienced. I began to sweat again and felt faint. I grabbed on to the side of the shower wall to steady myself. Then, I felt a release and a splash in the water that was draining beneath me.
A blood clot the size of a lemon had fallen into my bath water. Was that my baby? I knew this huge clot was not going to go down the drain, so I reached down to pick it up. I was able to grasp the large clot with both hands and move it to the toilet.
I stood in the warm shower for a few minutes feeling a little relief from the cramping. Then, the excruciating pain returned. I jumped out of the shower and sat on the toilet. There was another lemon sized blood clot, then another, and another.
I thought I was dying. This couldn’t be normal. Planned Parenthood didn’t ever tell me this could happen. This must be atypical. I decided that I would call them in the morning, if I didn’t die before then. It was around midnight and I had been in the bathroom for a good 12 hours. I knew I couldn’t leave yet. I didn’t want to lie in the bed since the bleeding was too heavy, and the clots were still coming; not as often, but they were still coming. So, I decided to sleep on the bathroom floor that night, right by the toilet. The cold floor felt good on my face. I was physically depleted, but I could not sleep.
The next morning, I called Planned Parenthood as soon as they opened and asked to speak to the nurse. I was told she would call me back soon. She did. I told her about my previous day. She told me, “That is not abnormal.” WHAT?? She could not be serious. All of the bleeding, all of the clotting, and all of the pain was NORMAL???
“Yes,” she said. “Use heating pads, soak in a warm tub, and take Ibuprofen.” I was angry. How could they not tell me the side effects? I felt betrayed.
Eight weeks passed. Eight weeks of blood clots. Eight weeks of nausea. Eight weeks of excruciating cramps. Eight weeks of heavy bleeding. When it was finally over, I went back to volunteer at Planned Parenthood.
My anger was gone and had now been replaced by self-reproach. I no longer blamed Planned Parenthood, I blamed myself. Honestly, I was glad that I was no longer pregnant. So, I just chalked it up to a terrible experience and vowed that I would do my best to never let anyone I know choose medication abortion.&n
bsp;I did not want anyone else to experience what I had been through.
When I started working at Planned Parenthood, I did just that. It actually became a joke around the clinic. “Don’t let Abby see the MAB (medication abortion) clients. She will change them all to surgical and we will be here all day.” I HATED medication abortion. I hated that we were pushing it at all of our clinics. I didn’t think it was the best option for our patients and I told them the risks. I told them my story. I told them about the clots, the cramping, the nausea, and the bleeding.
I witnessed too many women that had been hurt by this “natural” abortion method. There was nothing natural about it. At a management meeting, I voiced my concerns. Why weren’t we talking about the risks? Why hadn’t anyone told me? “Well, we don’t want to scare them,” my supervisor said. “Oh, like they are scared when they think they are dying from the amount of blood they are losing because we choose not to tell them that is supposedly normal,” I responded.
That didn’t go over too well. That was their answer? They didn’t want women to be scared?? The night of my medication abortion, lying on the cold bathroom floor, I had never been so scared. What if I died there alone? Who would find me? Would my parents find out that their daughter died because she had an abortion? That was a real fear.
Thinking back to my tonsillectomy and my abortion, one thing really stands out. When my ENT was going over all of these crazy risks, I was thinking, “Hey, can you just NOT tell me any of this.” But, then I was grateful, because if I woke up and I wasn’t able to talk, or if my two front teeth were all busted up, at least I would have been aware that was a possibility. At least I had the CHOICE to back out. However, with my abortion, I wasn’t given that CHOICE. They didn’t tell me what was really going to happen to me because they didn’t want to “scare” me, so much for freedom of choice.
Here is another glaring contrast. When my ENT was explaining the risks to me, I became nervous, but as he was calming my fears I remember him saying, “Don’t worry, none of this has EVER happened before to any of my patients,” that made me feel better. The same cannot be said of abortion, particularly medication abortion. Women have died from medication abortion. Thousands of women have had very serious complications. I saw many of them with my own eyes. I even became one of them.
To not give women all of the information about abortion because you think it will “scare” them is actually very offensive. Doesn’t Planned Parenthood claim to “trust women?” Then, why don’t they trust these women enough to give them all of the information? Do they not think women are smart enough to handle basic facts? What kind of female empowerment is that?
Here’s the truth. Planned Parenthood is not worried about women being “scared”. Planned Parenthood is scared. They are scared women will walk out the door if they get accurate and thorough information. Every woman that walks out is lost revenue. That is Planned Parenthood’s biggest fear. They are scared. They are scared of the truth. They are scared to give women the truth.
In 2003, a young woman died from a medication abortion, Holly Patterson. Since then, her father, Monty, has been working to expose the dangers and risks of abortion. He recently created a website, Abortion Pill Risks. This website is full of accurate information on the true risks of medication abortion.
I encourage all of you to please share this with people you know. Please post this website on your Facebook or twitter pages. Right now, Planned Parenthood is planning to expand their medication abortion protocols to EVERY family planning clinic in the country in the next 5 years.
We must act now. Holly didn’t have to die. Women do not have to be hurt by abortion. Expose the truth. Someone has to trust women to make the right decision because it certainly won’t be Planned Parenthood.
Are you seriously comparing an abortion to a tonsillectomy? Really? I think you have crossed the line from pro-life to radical hypocrite!
Um, maybe you should re-read the post. Clearly, you need to re-read the post.
Clearly.
She isn’t comparing the two, except to show up the difference in approach, she’s reporting what the abortion industry does, what it tells (more accurately doesn’t tell) its clients (of whom she was once one, but would never be again, nor want anyone else to be) and pointing out the lack of the “choice” (an informed, intelligent choice that has them in control) that women are supposed to have been given when they have an abortion
Clearly you were too much of a cowardTo actually read the post. Are you afraid of knowing the truth?
Did you read the story. She is trying to save lives here.
She wasn’t comparing the procedures themselves, but the way the consultation and explanation of risks was handled. Sheesh… yeah.. read it again.
Here’s a piece of advice: Read an article in its entirety before you comment on it. That way, you’ll know what you’re talking about.
Abby, thank you for telling women what Planned Parenthood can’t be bothered to tell us.
Yeah, it would help if you read the words that are BELOW the title.
The point is that if risks of undesirable side effects is necessary before a simple tonsillectomy, why not for a medication abortion?
Yeah, If you read the post, she was saying no one explained the risks of medical abortion to her, but they did explain risks when she just had a tonsillectomy! Her point was exactly the opposite of what you said!
Abby is NOT comparing a tonsillectomy to an abortion. She is saying that it’s ironic that the ENT doctor didn’t hesitate to share the RISKS of a tonsillectomy procedure, compared to an abortion provider who is SCARED to tell a patient/abortion victim of ANY risks!! I’ve been there too; I know!!
Thanks for sharing Abby. I’m sorry you have been through such a difficult experience.
I was just sharing about the risks and dangers of medical abortion when you posted this. Thank you for giving a voice to the ‘unseen’ and ‘unspoken’ horrors the abortion pill.
I pray for you, Lila, and Live Action often. I’m always thankful for how uplifting and encouraging you are! Keep it up! Your labor is not in vain! 1 Cor 15:58 🙂
Abby,Oh God that is so irresponsible, for want of a better word.
I can’t believe that. You must have been scared out of your mind. I get really scared too when I get a lot of nosebleeds in the summer. Did you actually see your baby? Poor little angel.
@Really? If you are going to comment something rude, have the cajones to post your name… and honestly, did you bother to read it?
I find it amazing that Really? could possibly think the author was comparing a tonsillectomy to an abortion. They clearly didn’t read the article. If they did then they obviously didn’t understand the concept of informed choice.As a nurse I feel it is my job to ensure the patient has all the facts in order for them to make an informed choice, otherwise we are taking that choice away and it becomces coercion, which is eveb more despicable when the motive is finance. I am not familiar with the medication abortion method but have great concerns that this place could possibly discharge a patient knowing they were going to be subject to so much blood loss and pain. I find it so disturbing to the point of neglect. I would never discharge a patient knowing they were going to be subject to so much trauma. The amount of blood loss described sounds very dangerous and would have thought meybe a blood transfusion may have been warrented in the case of such amounbts of blood loss. On average the mormal mentruation volume is barely enough to fill an egg cup. This sounds more like haemorrhaging. I hope you are not permanantly scarred from this emotionally and good luck with your voacation in ensuring that these vulnerable women are fully informed of the risks and obviously dangerous side effects in order for them to recieve the most appropriate treatment for them. Consent can only take place where the patient has all of the facts and not just what the medical professionals want you to know. Good Luck!!
Really…a tonsillectomy is much more simple, yet it comes with many warnings. An abortion is a complex procedure that ends with the death of at least one of the participants, possibly more, possibly all of the patients, yet Planned Parenthood treats it as if it is less risky than a finger prick to draw blood. They DO NOT tell you anything to discourage you. They encourage people that want information and choices to only pick one choice, their choice, death of a child.I understand it looks like the story is being compared to a simple procedure, but please see how the comparison is powerful.
A teacher at the high school my daughter went to would tell the students “an abortion is like getting a haircut, you are simply getting rid of something that your body does not want or need.” Thankfully, we know the truth, and I hope many more will learn.
This is such an incredible story. I am so very sorry that you endured that, that must have been horrific and frightening to say the least. I suffered through a miscarriage when I was seventeen years old. I was only 12 weeks pregnant, but I can assure you that my body endured such extreme pain and trauma. Very similar to you, I felt the pain and the cramping and the bleeding. I even experienced the water breaking and the contractions. It was an experience that will remain with me all of my life. Thank you for sharing this very real and thought provoking experience for us.
You are doing the right thing by standing up for all of these babies. Good luck with your birth today! I know God is with you!
Keep sharing your experiences, Abby. God is using you mightily.
So sorry for your experience. It is sad that women are not informed of the truth. I just learned recently… probably from your FB page that an underage girl can not get a tan at a tanning salon anymore but can still get an abortion. Such a backwards world.
For all of those who have secretly thought about the option of medical abortion Bc we know abortion is wrong and we attend church and love Jesus..but we’ve just been tempted..well we thank you..that its easier NOT to go down that path. Easier to say yes to Jesus and NO to the enemy. Thx for all you do.
God Bless you Abby
Abbey, You are a wonderful woman sharing the horrible truths that most people choose to ignore or pretend its not happening. Planned parenthood is in it for the money. They don’t show patients sonograms of their babies or tell them they are going to rip them apart piece by piece. They don’t tell them that their babies are perfect & growing with heartbeats & little fingers & toes. It is murder and that’s the bottom line. We need to put more money into education. I’ve always said that it should be mandatory to have an adoption agency attached to every abortion clinic so that women have a REAL choice and are given ALL of the facts from both sides. Good luck in your journey & thanks for your honesty & personal stories. Only if we could all be like you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s I’ve that many women never get the chance to hear.
Abby, I am so sorry you had to go through this and so alone. I lost my second pregnancy to a huge miscarriage at 11 weeks and my experience was so similar to the one you have written about in this article. I remember the pain, the blood clots, the heavy bleeding, lying on the bathroom floor and passing out so vividly and I am sorry you had to go through this. I will keep you in our prayers. Thank you for exposing the abortion lies by sharing your story. You are a courageous woman! May God continue to bless you as you help save babies from abortion.
Just curious, do some of these same things happen with the RU486 morning after pill? I have never heard what happens with that drug
Dear Abby, thankyou so much for standing up for truth and thankyou for sharing your pain with us. I am so sorry for your losses and for the pain that you have gone through. The work that you are doing now will save many unborn babies and their mothers, too and it will open the eyes, ears and hearts of many, who have been lied to, I pray. May the LORD bless you and heal you completely. Love from Susanne.
That is a terrible thing for someone to go through, especially from people who claim to be working to support women. The fact that there must be many victims and yet the facts are not generally known suggests that, despite the rise in abortions over the last decades, women are either too ashamed, too traumatised, or both, to talk to each other about their experiences. And so the lie is perpetrated. Maybe the Rachel’s Vineyard retreats could encourage people to speak out – very hard to do, I appreciate, but the abortion industry won’t, sure as God made little green apples, it won’t, so the only way for the truth to be known is for women themselves to speak up.
Abby~I’m so grateful that you’re willing to share your story. What a horrific and terrifying experience to go thru, especially alone. Keep up the good work, and please don’t let the uninformed people get you down. There are so many that don’t know the truth. I really appreciate/admire your Godly love and prayerful concern for all of them.
Wow what a horrendous experience! You’ve been thought a lot but have emerged a Prolife hero! XOXO
Abby,First of all, THANK YOU for your courage. Talking about abortion is not easy. My life has also been affected/damaged by abortions. I wanted to bring out a point about your story against my story. There is a big difference, when I had my abortion with medication abortion I was living in my country (not USA) .At that time abortion was illegal in my country yet I do not see a difference in the procedure you had in a legal clinic and the one I had in an illegal clinic. It was as horrible and scary as yours was .. It doesn’t make sense to me when people argue that legalizing abortion will save lives.. the procedures are the same, the same pills,same hard emotional pain etc. the legalization doesn’t get rid of the side effects, all it does is making me think that abortion is ok because society thinks is ok and I am not breaking the law… what we don’t realize is that the law has already been broken by this legalization. Thanks again Abby. Thanks
If there is any doubt that Satan hates God’s greatest miracle, read Abby’s story. Only the devil himself could introduce such evil upon the world. Come Lord Jesus!